I'm losing my mind.
I saw Greg two nights in a row in the middle of the night. The bedroom door was open just a little less than half - and I saw him in the doorway.
His head was tilted to the left, facing into the room, the left side of his forehead resting on the edge of the door, facing me - his right arm was bent at the elbow, his palm on the front of the door - his left arm was on the back of the door. His eyes looked so sad.
I was awake. I'm sure I was awake. Was it an hallucination? Maybe I was in that in-between state, but I wasn't asleep. I was awake enough to cry at the sight of his sadness. And then I would close my eyes for a while and try to sleep. Every time I woke up and opened my eyes, he was there - until about 4:30am. At 4:30, he was gone. I got up and shut the door almost closed - and went back to bed. I didn't want to shut him out, but I couldn't stand to see him leaning on the door again.
How many ways - and how many times can your heart be broken? Every time I think I've survived every way Greg's death could break my heart, another one presents itself.
Is there a limit?
I saw Greg two nights in a row in the middle of the night. The bedroom door was open just a little less than half - and I saw him in the doorway.
His head was tilted to the left, facing into the room, the left side of his forehead resting on the edge of the door, facing me - his right arm was bent at the elbow, his palm on the front of the door - his left arm was on the back of the door. His eyes looked so sad.
I was awake. I'm sure I was awake. Was it an hallucination? Maybe I was in that in-between state, but I wasn't asleep. I was awake enough to cry at the sight of his sadness. And then I would close my eyes for a while and try to sleep. Every time I woke up and opened my eyes, he was there - until about 4:30am. At 4:30, he was gone. I got up and shut the door almost closed - and went back to bed. I didn't want to shut him out, but I couldn't stand to see him leaning on the door again.
How many ways - and how many times can your heart be broken? Every time I think I've survived every way Greg's death could break my heart, another one presents itself.
Is there a limit?
No comments:
Post a Comment