My cousin, Tom died today. I'm not sure how old he was - I think 62 or 63, probably. I'm 69 and my brother is 59 and I know Tom was a few years older than my brother.
He's been sick for quite a while now. Cancer. Multiple Myeloma, lung cancer, liver cancer - too much cancer.
He had a tough life - most of it (like all of us) was his own doing. It didn't make it easier to watch. I loved him - still do.
He was most definitely his mother's son (and only child). He channeled her acerbic wit, her sarcasm, her disdain for the rules, her smart-ass-ism (new word).
He loved music, poetry, smart people. We sent each other quotes by text - messages of love - thoughts about death, God, our grandmother.
Tommy was brave - willing to talk about pain - both caused and felt - without excuses - without an escape route. I wish I were as brave.
He had loyal friends, loving cousins, two sons, grandchildren (one of whom he hadn't met).
We had nicknames. He was CT, for Cousin Tom. He called me CJ, for Cousin Jane. The nicknames were his invention and I loved them.
These last few weeks, I knew he was going to die soon - maybe before Thanksgiving. I wanted to get there, but I wasn't able.
It appears that he died peacefully, in his sleep. I'm grateful for that.
I love you, CT
He's been sick for quite a while now. Cancer. Multiple Myeloma, lung cancer, liver cancer - too much cancer.
He had a tough life - most of it (like all of us) was his own doing. It didn't make it easier to watch. I loved him - still do.
He was most definitely his mother's son (and only child). He channeled her acerbic wit, her sarcasm, her disdain for the rules, her smart-ass-ism (new word).
He loved music, poetry, smart people. We sent each other quotes by text - messages of love - thoughts about death, God, our grandmother.
Tommy was brave - willing to talk about pain - both caused and felt - without excuses - without an escape route. I wish I were as brave.
He had loyal friends, loving cousins, two sons, grandchildren (one of whom he hadn't met).
We had nicknames. He was CT, for Cousin Tom. He called me CJ, for Cousin Jane. The nicknames were his invention and I loved them.
These last few weeks, I knew he was going to die soon - maybe before Thanksgiving. I wanted to get there, but I wasn't able.
It appears that he died peacefully, in his sleep. I'm grateful for that.
I love you, CT
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