Thursday, November 16, 2017

Type---erase---type---erase

I've been doing that whole type-erase-type-erase thing for days.  What I want to say - I can't.  And I'm probably better off if I don't dwell on it.  So, instead, I'll say this...

Thanksgiving is coming - the first without Greg.  We used to have Thanksgiving breakfast in the morning at my house and then Greg went home to cook dinner for his family - the youngest went to his mother-in-law's house to enjoy their busy, happy family - the oldest used to have dinner with his wife's family until his in-laws moved to Florida.  Now they have dinner with friends.

Thanksgiving breakfast is canceled this year.  My 12-year-old grandson made an all-star football team and they play the "Turkey Bowl" on Thanksgiving morning - so our plan is for my oldest son and his family - and Michael and I - to go to the game to support my grandson.   

No Thanksgiving breakfast.  No way to be with both of my children this Thanksgiving.  

After talking to my oldest son, I think Thanksgiving breakfast has run its course, anyway.   This is the best year and the worst year for this to happen.

I can't imagine how I'd get through Thanksgiving breakfast without Greg.  I miss him every day.

Although his family hasn't come for 5 years, Greg came (usually late) and helped me get THE BIG BREAKFAST together (he loved to cook).  The past couple years have been tough - and last year was torture for all of us.  I guess it's time for a change.  Unfortunately, whatever happens next won't be a 'family together" kind of Thanksgiving.  I can't process that this year.  

My youngest son extended an invitation from his mother-in-law to share their Thanksgiving dinner - and I plan to go.  I appreciate the generous offer (really).  I don't want to be a yearly tag-a-long to someone else's family's celebration, but that's way premature.  No one has invited me.  :-)  In reality, who knows if there will be another Thanksgiving for me.

I worry about Greg's kids feeling shut off from our side of their family.   It's important to me that they know they're loved - and welcome at my house.  I don't want them to feel that we all just took off and left them.  It doesn't matter that they haven't come in a while.  If they want to come for breakfast, I want to make it for them.  Does that make any sense?

I'm sure it will work out - and everyone will do what they need to do to get through the day.  I just hate to give up our family being together on Thanksgiving - especially this year. 

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