I mentioned that we are having our garage floor replaced. What a huge job! We didn't find out until Friday that Joe wanted to start work on the floor the next Monday (October 1st). Riiiiiiight!
Before the work could start, we had to empty the garage. Do you have a garage? Is it ultra tidy - or is it like mine?
Scott and Richard both offered to help move the contents of the garage over the weekend. I don't know what we would have done without them.
One of the things that had to be removed from the garage, was a set of shelves that Greg built for Michael - to hold all of his shipping envelopes and boxes - so that Michael didn't have to go up and down the stairs every time he needed a shipping envelope. He built the shelves out of whatever he could find in the garage: dry wall, pieces of scrap lumber - anything available. The shelves weren't pretty, but they were a huge help to Michael.
The shelves were moved to the back porch until the construction is over. Scott and Richard suggested that I have new shelves built that would look better and be more sturdy. I just nodded my head - couldn't talk. Greg built them. I don't like to get rid of anything connected to Greg - in any way. It's like I'm throwing away a part of him. How can anyone ask me to do that.
At the same time, there was a bag of small pieces of wood - useless, unless you're a contractor. And boards - old boards - same thing. On sane days, I know that saving everything that Greg touched isn't good for me. It makes me sad to see those things - reminds me of how unrooted he was - how alone he felt - out of his home - away from his children. It's not just blocks of wood to me - or pieces of wood - shelves made out of loose ends.
Greg left me so many special things - the plant hangers with the initials of my grandchildren - the old-time tricycle on my mantle that he made out of metal - the 1949 Aladdin kerosene lantern in the dining room - the plastic happy-memory Santa on my window sill in the kitchen - and of course, Billy the squirrel on my mailbox - just to name a few. Do I really need/want blocks of wood, boards, shelves made out of drywall to remember him?
While cleaning out the garage, Scott and Richard threw out the blocks of wood, and boards, laughing about what a hoarder their dad was (or at least pretending so for my benefit). When they told me, I had a catch in my throat - and then I mentally reminded myself of all that I have that connects me to Greg (as if any physical thing is necessary). I was sad briefly, but then it was okay.
Richard and Scott asked Michael if he wanted those shelves back in the garage. Michael told them that he did not. Michael knew instinctively that if they came back in, I would not be able to let them go.
Richard said he would come and get the necessary things back in the garage. If he gets rid of the shelves and I don't have to see them again, I think I can handle it. I am grateful for all of Richard's help.
I'll just go sit on the porch and look at my plant hangers and talk to Billy for a little while and I'll be okay.
Before the work could start, we had to empty the garage. Do you have a garage? Is it ultra tidy - or is it like mine?
Scott and Richard both offered to help move the contents of the garage over the weekend. I don't know what we would have done without them.
One of the things that had to be removed from the garage, was a set of shelves that Greg built for Michael - to hold all of his shipping envelopes and boxes - so that Michael didn't have to go up and down the stairs every time he needed a shipping envelope. He built the shelves out of whatever he could find in the garage: dry wall, pieces of scrap lumber - anything available. The shelves weren't pretty, but they were a huge help to Michael.
The shelves were moved to the back porch until the construction is over. Scott and Richard suggested that I have new shelves built that would look better and be more sturdy. I just nodded my head - couldn't talk. Greg built them. I don't like to get rid of anything connected to Greg - in any way. It's like I'm throwing away a part of him. How can anyone ask me to do that.
At the same time, there was a bag of small pieces of wood - useless, unless you're a contractor. And boards - old boards - same thing. On sane days, I know that saving everything that Greg touched isn't good for me. It makes me sad to see those things - reminds me of how unrooted he was - how alone he felt - out of his home - away from his children. It's not just blocks of wood to me - or pieces of wood - shelves made out of loose ends.
Greg left me so many special things - the plant hangers with the initials of my grandchildren - the old-time tricycle on my mantle that he made out of metal - the 1949 Aladdin kerosene lantern in the dining room - the plastic happy-memory Santa on my window sill in the kitchen - and of course, Billy the squirrel on my mailbox - just to name a few. Do I really need/want blocks of wood, boards, shelves made out of drywall to remember him?
While cleaning out the garage, Scott and Richard threw out the blocks of wood, and boards, laughing about what a hoarder their dad was (or at least pretending so for my benefit). When they told me, I had a catch in my throat - and then I mentally reminded myself of all that I have that connects me to Greg (as if any physical thing is necessary). I was sad briefly, but then it was okay.
Richard and Scott asked Michael if he wanted those shelves back in the garage. Michael told them that he did not. Michael knew instinctively that if they came back in, I would not be able to let them go.
Richard said he would come and get the necessary things back in the garage. If he gets rid of the shelves and I don't have to see them again, I think I can handle it. I am grateful for all of Richard's help.
I'll just go sit on the porch and look at my plant hangers and talk to Billy for a little while and I'll be okay.
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