Today is Kate's birthday. She's eleven today. We had a family breakfast at a local diner to celebrate her day.
I had to wake up early - get dressed - and show up. A challenge on my best day. This was not my best day.
It's been seven months today since Greg died. I didn't want to go anywhere. Do anything. I just wanted to be left alone. Maybe a trip to the cemetery. Maybe. But it was Kate's birthday. So, with Michael's help, I went to the diner to meet the family for breakfast.
I sat between my youngest son, Scott, on my left and Michael on my right. Across the table were... from (right to left) Brynn, Kate (directly across from me), Bryce, and Chase. Mason was sick, so he was at home with his mom.
Tears started quietly down my cheek. I missed Greg. In truth, he may have made it to the breakfast or maybe not. For the past few years, we never knew. I didn't miss the tension of not knowing and the problems that caused, but celebrations were always better when all three of them were there.
I quickly wiped away the tears and before there was time for more, Kate told me how excited she was that it was her birthday. Who could look at that sweet, smiling face and cry? Not me. I asked her what gifts she wanted and what her parents had given her. (I knew she'd love my gifts. I did well for this one - all last minute, but things that she REALLY wanted.)
The moment passed and we all ordered breakfast.
"Did you get hash browns, Michael?" I asked.
"I did. Do you want some of them?"
"Just two," I laughed. "I didn't want a whole order, but I'd love just a taste."
"You can have as many as you want," Michael offered, with characteristic generosity.
"Good one, Michael," seven year old Brynn chimed in, grinning. "It's important to be nice to your (pause) wife-ish (pause) friend-ish person."
"And he always is, Brynn," I added.
Wife-ish, friend-ish person. SO Brynn.
When I woke up, I was wondering how I would get through this day. Now I find myself present, and enjoying my grandchildren.
Chase is five years old - probably under 40 lbs. - and a breakfast lover. I had a waffle, eggs, and sausage - none of which could I finish.
"Chase... do you want part of my waffle?"
Chase's eyes were huge! "I do! Thanks, Grammie."
I passed him the waffle. He covered it in syrup and began to eat it. (He had just finished three blueberry pancakes.
Seeing that he was almost finished with the waffle, I asked him, "How about some eggs, Chase?"
"Yes, please!" Chase answered quickly. I passed him the eggs, which he began to eat enthusiastically.
Scott laughed. "Would you like a piece of toast, Chase?"
Chase nodded his head affirmatively. Scott passed him a piece of toast and jelly. We were all amazed, but I've seen it before. This boy loves his breakfast!
We sang to Kate for her birthday, ending the birthday song with an Eagles chant. (It's Super Bowl Sunday)
We talked about our plans for the day and for the Super Bowl and then we all went to our cars to begin the rest of our day.
Richard and I talked for a couple of minutes. I'm not sure he remembered that this was the seventh month anniversary of Greg's death, but we talked about yesterday being the twelve year anniversary of his father's death. Rich died a year and a day before Kate was born.
Kate's birthday gives us reason to be joyful in a sad time of year for us. I am grateful for the respite from sorrow and most of all, grateful for a reason to celebrate Kate.
I had to wake up early - get dressed - and show up. A challenge on my best day. This was not my best day.
It's been seven months today since Greg died. I didn't want to go anywhere. Do anything. I just wanted to be left alone. Maybe a trip to the cemetery. Maybe. But it was Kate's birthday. So, with Michael's help, I went to the diner to meet the family for breakfast.
I sat between my youngest son, Scott, on my left and Michael on my right. Across the table were... from (right to left) Brynn, Kate (directly across from me), Bryce, and Chase. Mason was sick, so he was at home with his mom.
Tears started quietly down my cheek. I missed Greg. In truth, he may have made it to the breakfast or maybe not. For the past few years, we never knew. I didn't miss the tension of not knowing and the problems that caused, but celebrations were always better when all three of them were there.
I quickly wiped away the tears and before there was time for more, Kate told me how excited she was that it was her birthday. Who could look at that sweet, smiling face and cry? Not me. I asked her what gifts she wanted and what her parents had given her. (I knew she'd love my gifts. I did well for this one - all last minute, but things that she REALLY wanted.)
The moment passed and we all ordered breakfast.
"Did you get hash browns, Michael?" I asked.
"I did. Do you want some of them?"
"Just two," I laughed. "I didn't want a whole order, but I'd love just a taste."
"You can have as many as you want," Michael offered, with characteristic generosity.
"Good one, Michael," seven year old Brynn chimed in, grinning. "It's important to be nice to your (pause) wife-ish (pause) friend-ish person."
"And he always is, Brynn," I added.
Wife-ish, friend-ish person. SO Brynn.
When I woke up, I was wondering how I would get through this day. Now I find myself present, and enjoying my grandchildren.
Chase is five years old - probably under 40 lbs. - and a breakfast lover. I had a waffle, eggs, and sausage - none of which could I finish.
"Chase... do you want part of my waffle?"
Chase's eyes were huge! "I do! Thanks, Grammie."
I passed him the waffle. He covered it in syrup and began to eat it. (He had just finished three blueberry pancakes.
Seeing that he was almost finished with the waffle, I asked him, "How about some eggs, Chase?"
"Yes, please!" Chase answered quickly. I passed him the eggs, which he began to eat enthusiastically.
Scott laughed. "Would you like a piece of toast, Chase?"
Chase nodded his head affirmatively. Scott passed him a piece of toast and jelly. We were all amazed, but I've seen it before. This boy loves his breakfast!
We sang to Kate for her birthday, ending the birthday song with an Eagles chant. (It's Super Bowl Sunday)
We talked about our plans for the day and for the Super Bowl and then we all went to our cars to begin the rest of our day.
Richard and I talked for a couple of minutes. I'm not sure he remembered that this was the seventh month anniversary of Greg's death, but we talked about yesterday being the twelve year anniversary of his father's death. Rich died a year and a day before Kate was born.
Kate's birthday gives us reason to be joyful in a sad time of year for us. I am grateful for the respite from sorrow and most of all, grateful for a reason to celebrate Kate.
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