Not my best week. Last Thursday was chemo (always a fun time). Friday was a typical, sleepy, day after chemo. Saturday was... an adventure.
I got up late, read my morning devotional, and then started my newly defined morning routine - brush my teeth - do a fluoride rinse for my teeth and gums - next the salt water rinse for the sore post-chemo mouth - and lastly, a rinse with liquid Benadryl and Maalox (Magic Mouthwash). Yummy.
I didn't feel great - oxygen levels and heart rate were kind of all over the place, so I did a lot of resting between rinses and then sat and waited until oxygen and heart rate were stable (I spend my life with a pulse-ox in my hand). Everything seemed okay, so I turned on the water and got in the shower.
I'm not able to stand for more than (maximum) 2 minutes due to lung damage, so I have a shower bench, which is placed in corner of the shower (this is a very small stand-up shower) so that I can sit and lean in the corner and let the water run over me (Greg set it up that way when he fixed my shower).
I took my normal shower - felt "okay". I normally finish my shower by washing my hair (or I should say... head), and then washing my face. I washed my hair as usual (with my eyes closed because of the shampoo) and everything seemed fine until I opened my eyes. As soon as I opened my eyes, I knew something was wrong and decided that I should skip washing my face - and get out. That was the last thought I had - until I woke up, naked, face down on the ceramic tile, bathroom floor, hearing Michael yelling my name on the other side of the door. He said he talked to me for at least 30 seconds before I answered.
I finally answered and told him that I was okay, but confused, and that I was just going to lie on the floor for a couple minutes and regroup. My body was blocking the door, so that the door wouldn't open.
Eventually, I was able to get up, grab my housecoat, and sit on a bench inside the bathroom door and let Michael in. He helped me to the bed and I decided to just sit for a few minutes until my head cleared.
I could see and hear him talking. I knew he was saying words, but they didn't make any sense to me. I tried to touch my head, but it was too painful to touch, I had a lump the size of an grapefruit (okay... and apple) over my right eyebrow. There was stabbing pain on my entire right eyebrow and my right eye.
Michael got me an ice pack, but I couldn't put it on my face. The ice was too sharp. I couldn't bear it. Next we tried a gel pack. Although I sobbed in pain, I forced myself to put the frozen gel pack on my eye - a couple seconds at a time, increasing time slowly.
I spent the day trying to ice my face, eye, and forehead. We finally decided that we should call Penn and go the ER. I called my doctor's service and the on-call doctor paved the way for us. They were ready by the time we got there. We should have gone in the morning... but we didn't.
When we got to the ER, they put us in a room (in the ER) right away, did an EKG, hooked up a heart monitor and IV. They were afraid that I had broken the orbital bone around my right eye or that I had a brain bleed. I apparently gave my brain quite a jolt. My eye was swollen shut and the lump on my forehead was now down to the size of an apple (okay... a lemon). Yay, ice!. I thought my nose was (re)broken, but the CT scan showed no breaks. Unbelievable that I didn't do more actual damage than I did.
ANYWAY... I still have some shorted connections - like trying to put the lid for the superglue on a Sharpie (didn't work) - or typing a text message this morning that I forgot to send. It's a little better today than it was yesterday, but it's still there.
All of that to say, that I've been trying to rest my brain - no texting (almost no texting) - no computer (okay - no computer until this) - no reading (just my morning devotional) - very little TV (define "very little") - no bracelets (orders are backing up). Deviation from "the rules" results in a nasty headache.
This is rambling and disjointed and it took three sittings to write. And it's been a "just the facts, ma'am" post without telling how I felt - the terror - the residual fear of taking a shower. I'm a mental mess.
AND... this is the second time I've fainted like this. The last time was 2 chemo cycles ago. The doctor thought it was due to a quick drop in steroids - turns out... not so much. Last time I fainted before I got into the shower. Same thing, though - face plant on the tile floor, but much less damage than this time. Will there be a next time?
Where do we go from here?
I got up late, read my morning devotional, and then started my newly defined morning routine - brush my teeth - do a fluoride rinse for my teeth and gums - next the salt water rinse for the sore post-chemo mouth - and lastly, a rinse with liquid Benadryl and Maalox (Magic Mouthwash). Yummy.
I didn't feel great - oxygen levels and heart rate were kind of all over the place, so I did a lot of resting between rinses and then sat and waited until oxygen and heart rate were stable (I spend my life with a pulse-ox in my hand). Everything seemed okay, so I turned on the water and got in the shower.
I'm not able to stand for more than (maximum) 2 minutes due to lung damage, so I have a shower bench, which is placed in corner of the shower (this is a very small stand-up shower) so that I can sit and lean in the corner and let the water run over me (Greg set it up that way when he fixed my shower).
I took my normal shower - felt "okay". I normally finish my shower by washing my hair (or I should say... head), and then washing my face. I washed my hair as usual (with my eyes closed because of the shampoo) and everything seemed fine until I opened my eyes. As soon as I opened my eyes, I knew something was wrong and decided that I should skip washing my face - and get out. That was the last thought I had - until I woke up, naked, face down on the ceramic tile, bathroom floor, hearing Michael yelling my name on the other side of the door. He said he talked to me for at least 30 seconds before I answered.
I finally answered and told him that I was okay, but confused, and that I was just going to lie on the floor for a couple minutes and regroup. My body was blocking the door, so that the door wouldn't open.
Eventually, I was able to get up, grab my housecoat, and sit on a bench inside the bathroom door and let Michael in. He helped me to the bed and I decided to just sit for a few minutes until my head cleared.
I could see and hear him talking. I knew he was saying words, but they didn't make any sense to me. I tried to touch my head, but it was too painful to touch, I had a lump the size of an grapefruit (okay... and apple) over my right eyebrow. There was stabbing pain on my entire right eyebrow and my right eye.
Michael got me an ice pack, but I couldn't put it on my face. The ice was too sharp. I couldn't bear it. Next we tried a gel pack. Although I sobbed in pain, I forced myself to put the frozen gel pack on my eye - a couple seconds at a time, increasing time slowly.
I spent the day trying to ice my face, eye, and forehead. We finally decided that we should call Penn and go the ER. I called my doctor's service and the on-call doctor paved the way for us. They were ready by the time we got there. We should have gone in the morning... but we didn't.
When we got to the ER, they put us in a room (in the ER) right away, did an EKG, hooked up a heart monitor and IV. They were afraid that I had broken the orbital bone around my right eye or that I had a brain bleed. I apparently gave my brain quite a jolt. My eye was swollen shut and the lump on my forehead was now down to the size of an apple (okay... a lemon). Yay, ice!. I thought my nose was (re)broken, but the CT scan showed no breaks. Unbelievable that I didn't do more actual damage than I did.
ANYWAY... I still have some shorted connections - like trying to put the lid for the superglue on a Sharpie (didn't work) - or typing a text message this morning that I forgot to send. It's a little better today than it was yesterday, but it's still there.
All of that to say, that I've been trying to rest my brain - no texting (almost no texting) - no computer (okay - no computer until this) - no reading (just my morning devotional) - very little TV (define "very little") - no bracelets (orders are backing up). Deviation from "the rules" results in a nasty headache.
This is rambling and disjointed and it took three sittings to write. And it's been a "just the facts, ma'am" post without telling how I felt - the terror - the residual fear of taking a shower. I'm a mental mess.
AND... this is the second time I've fainted like this. The last time was 2 chemo cycles ago. The doctor thought it was due to a quick drop in steroids - turns out... not so much. Last time I fainted before I got into the shower. Same thing, though - face plant on the tile floor, but much less damage than this time. Will there be a next time?
Where do we go from here?
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