Woowoo called an emergency session to do some PTSD work (whatever that means). I'm not sure we were successful. Part of the problem is my reaction to everything.
I can't go into detail about what we did - I don't think I could go over it all again and end up with any kind of sanity at all.
I looked at the clock and realized that we were already over the time limit.
It had been a bad day. I felt down - hopeless - a heaviness in my arms - and legs - and brain. No matter how hard I tried to think "happy thoughts", I just couldn't get there.
"How do you feel," she asked. "Do you feel any better than when you came in?"
It was obvious to me that she was hoping I felt better.... so... I decided to feel better - or at least say I did. She is so generous with her time. I don't want to take advantage of her kindness. (Plus I had exceeded my pain limit)
So, I did whatever I could to calm down long enough to get in the car and drive away.
The images we talked about were stuck in my head. My pulse rate (which I check when I check my oxygen) fluctuated between 120 and 58 - erratic. I think the last three weeks, especially, have really taken a toll on my health. I wonder how long I'll live. I do think this is going to kill me, but I'm trying to hold out as long as I'm able (for Brynn).
When I saw my family doctor, he prescribed something for sleep (I'm not sleeping much. Did I mention that?). It hasn't worked great for sleep - 3 hours max, but it has taken away the nightmares and images.
I am hoping to hang on until bedtime, take the medication, and pray that the images that are stuck in my head... will be gone.
I'll worry about tomorrow - tomorrow.
I can't go into detail about what we did - I don't think I could go over it all again and end up with any kind of sanity at all.
I looked at the clock and realized that we were already over the time limit.
It had been a bad day. I felt down - hopeless - a heaviness in my arms - and legs - and brain. No matter how hard I tried to think "happy thoughts", I just couldn't get there.
"How do you feel," she asked. "Do you feel any better than when you came in?"
It was obvious to me that she was hoping I felt better.... so... I decided to feel better - or at least say I did. She is so generous with her time. I don't want to take advantage of her kindness. (Plus I had exceeded my pain limit)
So, I did whatever I could to calm down long enough to get in the car and drive away.
The images we talked about were stuck in my head. My pulse rate (which I check when I check my oxygen) fluctuated between 120 and 58 - erratic. I think the last three weeks, especially, have really taken a toll on my health. I wonder how long I'll live. I do think this is going to kill me, but I'm trying to hold out as long as I'm able (for Brynn).
When I saw my family doctor, he prescribed something for sleep (I'm not sleeping much. Did I mention that?). It hasn't worked great for sleep - 3 hours max, but it has taken away the nightmares and images.
I am hoping to hang on until bedtime, take the medication, and pray that the images that are stuck in my head... will be gone.
I'll worry about tomorrow - tomorrow.
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