Today was a flash of light in a wall of darkness.
I had an appointment with the ophthalmic surgeon this morning. It was 58 degrees when I unloaded my scooter to go into the office. My kind of weather. It was cool and crisp - cleansing.
It was a long appointment and by the time I was loading my scooter into the van again, it was 68 degrees - 10 degrees warmer - still a beautiful day.
I called Michael and told him that it was so pretty out, that I wanted to do "something" before I came home. I think he was glad (and surprised - but concerned) that I felt good enough to do something/anything.
I decided to take a ride down to Home Goods - about 15 minutes from where I was. I was there about a month ago and saw some things that would have worked well for bracelet displays for a craft show - or if I decided to do an open house. I regretted not getting them when I saw them, so I thought I'd go back to see if they were still there. A focused trip is easier than a trip without a purpose.
Of course, the things I was looking for were gone, but there were some new things that I decided to purchase.
The nice "checker" at Register #4 loved my purchases and we struck up a pleasant conversation while she checked me out.
The manager came over to see if I needed help, but I assured her that I was fine. She just shook her head and laughed. "Good for you", she said.
I was riding my mobility scooter, with a big bag of wooden and marble plates draped across my oxygen machine - and my arm through the legs of a huge easel that was resting on my shoulder.
Out to the car, where I loaded my "goodies" into the back seat of the van. As I shut the door, I noticed a woman across the parking aisle, taking pieces of a scooter out of her trunk and putting them together. When I glanced her way, she yelled across the parking lot, "I'm watching you."
I laughed and scootered across the street to say hello and hear about her scooter. She had only had it a week, but she loved it. She did feel, though, that putting it together (it breaks apart into 4 pieces) was very hard on her back and so she was eager to talk to me about my lift.
After exchanging information, we said good-bye, wished each other a good day, and then I loaded the scooter and headed home - exhausted.
By the time I arrived home, I was so, so tired. I could feel the mental darkness slowly moving in around me. I'm grateful for the break today.
Whether the darkness pulls me in or not, I know that I've been "out" today I decided on my own to make a side trip before I went home. I made decisions - I interacted with the world - I connected with people and looked them in the eye. There was no crisis - no meltdown - no trauma.
I'm going to hang on to that.
I had an appointment with the ophthalmic surgeon this morning. It was 58 degrees when I unloaded my scooter to go into the office. My kind of weather. It was cool and crisp - cleansing.
It was a long appointment and by the time I was loading my scooter into the van again, it was 68 degrees - 10 degrees warmer - still a beautiful day.
I called Michael and told him that it was so pretty out, that I wanted to do "something" before I came home. I think he was glad (and surprised - but concerned) that I felt good enough to do something/anything.
I decided to take a ride down to Home Goods - about 15 minutes from where I was. I was there about a month ago and saw some things that would have worked well for bracelet displays for a craft show - or if I decided to do an open house. I regretted not getting them when I saw them, so I thought I'd go back to see if they were still there. A focused trip is easier than a trip without a purpose.
Of course, the things I was looking for were gone, but there were some new things that I decided to purchase.
The nice "checker" at Register #4 loved my purchases and we struck up a pleasant conversation while she checked me out.
The manager came over to see if I needed help, but I assured her that I was fine. She just shook her head and laughed. "Good for you", she said.
I was riding my mobility scooter, with a big bag of wooden and marble plates draped across my oxygen machine - and my arm through the legs of a huge easel that was resting on my shoulder.
Out to the car, where I loaded my "goodies" into the back seat of the van. As I shut the door, I noticed a woman across the parking aisle, taking pieces of a scooter out of her trunk and putting them together. When I glanced her way, she yelled across the parking lot, "I'm watching you."
I laughed and scootered across the street to say hello and hear about her scooter. She had only had it a week, but she loved it. She did feel, though, that putting it together (it breaks apart into 4 pieces) was very hard on her back and so she was eager to talk to me about my lift.
After exchanging information, we said good-bye, wished each other a good day, and then I loaded the scooter and headed home - exhausted.
By the time I arrived home, I was so, so tired. I could feel the mental darkness slowly moving in around me. I'm grateful for the break today.
Whether the darkness pulls me in or not, I know that I've been "out" today I decided on my own to make a side trip before I went home. I made decisions - I interacted with the world - I connected with people and looked them in the eye. There was no crisis - no meltdown - no trauma.
I'm going to hang on to that.
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