I learned this weekend that sheer will does not determine the quality of the day. Shouldn't have been an "Aha!" moment, but it was.
Friday was SO bad, I "decided" that yesterday would be better. I thought I could "manage" my sadness and grief. Right. Not happening, but surely not from trying.
Today is no better. My head is so full I can't think. I'm so tired I can barely hold my head up. I can feel my pulse - - feel my chest rising and falling in each breath - measure the oxygen levels in my blood, so I know I'm alive, but periodically I have to check to be sure.
I know I need a day off from the heartache, but that's not the way it works. You cannot strong-arm Life. (Apparently)
Some might say I'm bull-headed. I prefer to say I'm... determined.
Greg said he inherited that trait from me. I always contended that I had no idea what he was talking about. I insisted vehemently that I am sweet and compliant - always. He laughed. (Imagine!)
Greg came to my house one night after leaving physical therapy. He had broken his collarbone (story for another day), had surgery and was going to therapy several times a week - and doing well.
He said the therapist told the limit of how much he could lift and that he was lifting his limit long before expected.
"You are the most bull-headed person I've ever worked with!", the therapist asserted.
Greg, while performing his assigned exercise, "Then you have obviously not worked with my mother."
Really???
(Thanks, Greg - for the smile.)
Friday was SO bad, I "decided" that yesterday would be better. I thought I could "manage" my sadness and grief. Right. Not happening, but surely not from trying.
Today is no better. My head is so full I can't think. I'm so tired I can barely hold my head up. I can feel my pulse - - feel my chest rising and falling in each breath - measure the oxygen levels in my blood, so I know I'm alive, but periodically I have to check to be sure.
I know I need a day off from the heartache, but that's not the way it works. You cannot strong-arm Life. (Apparently)
Some might say I'm bull-headed. I prefer to say I'm... determined.
Greg said he inherited that trait from me. I always contended that I had no idea what he was talking about. I insisted vehemently that I am sweet and compliant - always. He laughed. (Imagine!)
Greg came to my house one night after leaving physical therapy. He had broken his collarbone (story for another day), had surgery and was going to therapy several times a week - and doing well.
He said the therapist told the limit of how much he could lift and that he was lifting his limit long before expected.
"You are the most bull-headed person I've ever worked with!", the therapist asserted.
Greg, while performing his assigned exercise, "Then you have obviously not worked with my mother."
Really???
(Thanks, Greg - for the smile.)
No comments:
Post a Comment