Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Bring the straight jacket

Last night I thought I was going to lose my mind.  I thought someone was going to come and take me out of the house in a straight jacket.  I lost it.  I won't describe it - don't want to relive it - don't know what I'll do if/when it happens again.

Yesterday was busy after we heard the news.  Michael's daughter was here with her husband and they kept me busy until bedtime.


When I turned out the light and climbed into bed, surrounded by blackness and silence, the images of him, and the reality of what happened flooded my mind and heart until I thought I would drown.

My oldest son, Richard, was here a lot today to help clear out things of Greg's that would be painful to see.  It was calming just to have him in the house - to know he was close.  He usually has that effect on me.  I don't think he has any idea.

I promised him that I would take care of myself, but I don't know if I can.  I feel that this will split me in two.

How will I make it through the night tonight?

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