Help or not?

So sad today.  Nothing makes sense to me.  I - especially don't make sense to me.  I don't know who I am.  I'm looking for the bread crumbs that mark the path out of this, but they've been eaten by the birds.  Do traditional "helps" really help?


Yesterday I received some information from 'The Compassionate Friends' - an organization that helps people who have lost a child.  They are a National organization that has local meetings.  I opened the envelope and saw that there were pamphlets inside.  I don't know that I'm ready for pamphlets, let alone a meeting.  I can't imagine anything in the world sadder than an entire group of people who have lost their child.

The organization asks that you go to three meetings before you decide it's not for you.  They say that often, the first meeting can be difficult.  How could it be anything else?  I can't imagine what would make the second meeting better.  I guess that's why they want you to go three times.  I guess?  I can't imagine what it would be about that third meeting that would make me say... "Yup!  This is for me!  Sign me up!"  Can't decide whether I should go or not.  Maybe I'll know when it's time.   

I  also took a couple of letter-sized information sheets about the organization - that talked about who The Compassionate Friends are - where they meet - what they do.  And then some frequently asked questions.  All of the questions are questions I've asked.  None of the answers helped.

My therapist (remember Woowoo?) seems to think Compassionate Friends could be a good idea.  I'm not so sure.  When I push too hard (or too soon?) with things like this, it always seems to come back to chase me - and when it catches me, it knocks me down.  I'm not sure I can get up again - at least not right now.

I guess I'll start with the pamphlets - see if I can get through them without a major crash.  Then maybe I'll think about a meeting.

Maybe.